| Rogue River, Oregon |
| St. Innocent Eastern Orthodox Church |
| Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia |
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ORTHODOX CHURCH ETIQUETTE
Standing vs. Sitting
The traditional posture for prayer and worship in the Orthodox Church has been to stand. In the Orthodox “old countries”, there are usually no pews
in the churches. Chairs or benches on the side walls are usually reserved for the elderly and infirm. In North America, we have tended to build our
churches with pews, and since we have them, we need to figure out when we may sit and when we should stand. When should you definitely
stand? First of all, it is fully acceptable (even preferable) to stand for the entire service. But always stand during the Gospel reading, the Little and
Great Entrances, the Anaphora, the distribution of Holy Communion, whenever the priest gives a blessing, and the Dismissal. It is never wrong to
stand in church.
Lighting Candles
Lighting candles is an important part of Orthodox worship. We light them as we pray, making an offering to accompany our prayers. Orthodox
typically light candles when coming into the church - and that is usually the best time to light them, but there are times when candles should not be
lit. It is not proper to light candles during the Epistle or Gospel readings, during the Little or Great Entrances and during the sermon
Entering the Church (Late)
The time to arrive at church is before the service starts, but for some unknown reason, it has become the custom,or rather the bad habit, for some
to come to church late. If you arrive after the Divine Liturgy begins, try to enter the church quietly. If the Epistle or Gospel is being read, or the Little or
Great Entrance is taking place, or if Father is giving the sermon, stay in back until it is concluded. Try not to interrupt the Liturgy with your entrance.
By the way, the best way to avoid this problem is to arrive on time, then you don’t have to wonder if it’s okay to come in or not. People who come late
to the Liturgy should not partake of the Eucharist!
Crossing Those Legs?
In some Orthodox cultures, crossing one’s legs is taboo and considered to be very disrespectful. In our North American culture, while there are no
real taboos concerning crossing one’s legs, we tend to cross our legs to get comfortable while sitting. Should we cross our legs in church? No.
Not because it is “wrong” to ever cross legs, but rather because it is too casual , and too relaxed, for being in church. Just think about it, when you
get settled in your favorite chair at home, you lean back, cross your legs, and then your mind can wander anywhere it wants to. Remember that
sitting in church when ill or elderly is a concession, not the normative way of prayer. You surely don’t want to get too relaxed and let your mind
wander off too much. In fact, when you do sit in church, you should sit attentively - and not too comfortably. When sitting in church, keep those feet
on the floor, ready to stand at attention (which is what “Let us attend” means). Cross yourself with your fingers and hand, but don’t cross your legs!
In and Out
On some Sundays, it almost seems like we have a revolving door in the back of the church, and it is used by both children and adults. Use the
restroom before coming to church. You shouldn’t need to get a drink of water during the service (especially if you are taking Communion!). Come to
pray. Taking restless little ones out is a different matter. If a child is disruptive, take him/her quickly and quietly out of church, just long enough to
settle him/her down, then return to Liturgy. Follow the rules for entering late: not during readings, sermons, or Entrances.
Leaving Before Dismissal
Leaving church before the Dismissal, besides being rude, deprives us of a blessing. Worship has a beginning (“Blessed is the Kingdom…”) and
an end (“Let us depart in peace…”). To leave immediately after Communion is to treat church like a fast food restaurant where we come and go as
we please. We live in a fast-paced world where we seem to be hurrying from place to place. But in God’s presence, we need to make every attempt
to fight this pressure to move on to the next thing on the day’s agenda. We deprive ourselves of blessings by not being still and participating in God’
s holiness. Eat and run at McDonald’s, but stay in church and thank God for his precious gifts.
Lipstick
Have you ever looked at an icon in just the right light and seen the lip prints all over it? It’s disgusting, isn’t it? In fact, it’ is downright gross. Lipstick
may look fine on lips, but it looks horrible on icons, crosses, the Communion spoon and the priest’s or bishop’s hand. Icons have been ruined by
lipstick; and even though the cross can usually be cleaned after everyone venerates it, it just isn’t considerate to others to impose your lipstick on
them. What is the answer? If you insist on wearing lipstick to church, blot your lips well before venerating an icon, taking Communion, or kissing
the cross or the priest’s or bishop’s hand. Even better, wait until after church to put it on. After all, God is not impressed with how attractive you look
externally, your makeup or clothing, but how attractive you are internally, your adornment with good works and piety.
Venerating Icons
When you enter the church, it is traditional to venerate the icons. Usually there are icons at the entrance to the church and many churches have icon
stands in the front as well. When venerating (kissing) and icon, pay attention to where you kiss. It is not proper to kiss an icon in the face. You
would not go up and kiss the Lord or His mother on the lips, would you? You would kiss their hand, and only of they invited you would you even
dare to kiss them on the cheek. Pay attention to what you are doing. When you approach and icon to venerate it, kiss the gospel, scroll, or hand
cross in the hand of the person in the icon, or kiss the hand or foot of the person depicted. As you venerate and icon, show proper respect to the
person depicted in the icon, the same respect you would show the person by venerating him or her in an appropriate place. And remember, blot off
your lipstick before kissing.
Talking During Church
Isn’t it great to come to church and see friends and family members? But wait until after service to talk to them. It just is not appropriate to greet
people and have a conversation with them during the services. Besides being disrespectful towards God, it is rude towards the other people in the
church who are trying to worship. Talk to God while in church through your prayers, hymns, and thanksgiving, and to your friends in the hall
afterwards.
Kiss (Don’t Shake) the Priest’s or Bishop’s Hand
Did you know that the proper way to greet a priest or bishop is to ask his blessing and kiss his right hand? How do you do this? Approach the
priest or bishop with your right hand over your left hand and say “Father (or “Master” in the case of the bishop), bless.” [He will make the sign of the
cross, and place his right hand over yours.] This is much more appropriate (and traditional) than shaking their hands. After all, the priest and
bishop are not just “one of the boys,” they are the ones who "bless and sanctify" you and who offer the holy gifts on your behalf. When you kiss their
hands, you show respect for Christ, whom they represent. So next time you greet your priest or bishop, don’t shake his hand, ask for his blessing.
Sunday Dress
Remember the time when people put on their “Sunday best” to go to church? In fact, dress clothes were often referred to as Sunday clothes. In
some parts of the country, this is not common today. In fact, all too often, dress in church has become too casual. In all areas of our lives, we
should offer Christ our best. And the same is true of our dress. We should offer Christ our “Sunday best,” not our everyday or common wear. And
we should dress modestly, not in a flashy way that would bring attention to ourselves. Our dress should always be becoming of a Christian -
especially at church. Here are some specific guidelines we use in our parishes:
Children
Again, our Sunday best.
Women
Dresses should be modest. No tank tops or dresses with only straps at the shoulders, no short skirts (mini-skirts), and no skin-tight dresses.
Dresses should have backs and not be cut low in the front. According to St. Paul (I Corinthians 11) women are to cover their heads.
Men
Men should also dress modestly. While coat and tie are not mandatory, shirts should have collars and be buttoned; two or three buttons undone is
inappropriate. Slacks should be cleaned and pressed. Jeans (of any color) are usually too casual for church, especially ones with patches or
holes.
Again, shorts are not appropriate church wear. If you’re going somewhere after church where you need to dress casually, bring a change of clothing
with you and change after service. Remember, use your best judgment and good taste when dressing for church. After all, you don’t go to be seen
by
everyone else, you go to meet and worship God.
To Cross or Not To Cross
Anyone who has looked around on a Sunday morning will notice that different people cross themselves at different times (and sometimes in
different ways). To a certain extent, when to cross oneself is according to personal piety and not an issue of dogma. But there are times when it is
specifically proper to cross yourself, and times when you should not. Here is a brief list of when to cross and when not to cross:
Cross
When you hear one of the variations of the phrase, “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit”; at the beginning and end of the liturgical service or your private
prayers; entering or exiting the church, or when passing in front of the Holy Altar; before venerating in icon, the cross, or Gospel book.
Not to Cross
At the chalice before or after taking Communion (you might hit the chalice with your hand); when the priest or bishop blesses saying, “Peace be to
all," bow slightly and receive the blessing; when receiving a blessing from a bishop or a priest (kissing the right hand of the bishop or priest is
appropriate, but not making the sign of the cross).
Handling the Holy Bread
After taking Holy Communion and at the end of the liturgy, it is traditional to eat a piece of holy bread or antidoron, the bread that was left over after
Holy Communion was prepared. While antidoron is not Holy Communion, it is blessed bread and as such, should be eaten carefully so that
crumbs don’t fall all over the place. After taking Communion or kissing the cross at the end of the Divine Liturgy, take one piece of antidoron (you
don’t need four or five pieces) and when you return to your seat or get to a place where you can stop for a moment, eat the bread trying not to drop
crumbs. If you want to give a piece to someone else, go ahead and take an extra piece, don’t break yours in half (it produces too many crumbs).
And monitor your children as they take the antidoron and teach them to eat it respectfully.
A Final Thought
North American society in the late 20th century is rather casual in its approach to life. Don’t allow this prevailing attitude to enter into your Orthodox
Christian piety. There are surely a lot of other areas that could be covered here. Much of church etiquette is based on common sense and showing
respect for God and others. Always remember that you are in church to worship God, the Holy Trinity. The priest says, “With the fear of God and faith
and love, draw near.” Let this be the way you approach all of worship. If you do, you will probably have good church etiquette. AMEN.
Standing vs. Sitting
The traditional posture for prayer and worship in the Orthodox Church has been to stand. In the Orthodox “old countries”, there are usually no pews
in the churches. Chairs or benches on the side walls are usually reserved for the elderly and infirm. In North America, we have tended to build our
churches with pews, and since we have them, we need to figure out when we may sit and when we should stand. When should you definitely
stand? First of all, it is fully acceptable (even preferable) to stand for the entire service. But always stand during the Gospel reading, the Little and
Great Entrances, the Anaphora, the distribution of Holy Communion, whenever the priest gives a blessing, and the Dismissal. It is never wrong to
stand in church.
Lighting Candles
Lighting candles is an important part of Orthodox worship. We light them as we pray, making an offering to accompany our prayers. Orthodox
typically light candles when coming into the church - and that is usually the best time to light them, but there are times when candles should not be
lit. It is not proper to light candles during the Epistle or Gospel readings, during the Little or Great Entrances and during the sermon
Entering the Church (Late)
The time to arrive at church is before the service starts, but for some unknown reason, it has become the custom,or rather the bad habit, for some
to come to church late. If you arrive after the Divine Liturgy begins, try to enter the church quietly. If the Epistle or Gospel is being read, or the Little or
Great Entrance is taking place, or if Father is giving the sermon, stay in back until it is concluded. Try not to interrupt the Liturgy with your entrance.
By the way, the best way to avoid this problem is to arrive on time, then you don’t have to wonder if it’s okay to come in or not. People who come late
to the Liturgy should not partake of the Eucharist!
Crossing Those Legs?
In some Orthodox cultures, crossing one’s legs is taboo and considered to be very disrespectful. In our North American culture, while there are no
real taboos concerning crossing one’s legs, we tend to cross our legs to get comfortable while sitting. Should we cross our legs in church? No.
Not because it is “wrong” to ever cross legs, but rather because it is too casual , and too relaxed, for being in church. Just think about it, when you
get settled in your favorite chair at home, you lean back, cross your legs, and then your mind can wander anywhere it wants to. Remember that
sitting in church when ill or elderly is a concession, not the normative way of prayer. You surely don’t want to get too relaxed and let your mind
wander off too much. In fact, when you do sit in church, you should sit attentively - and not too comfortably. When sitting in church, keep those feet
on the floor, ready to stand at attention (which is what “Let us attend” means). Cross yourself with your fingers and hand, but don’t cross your legs!
In and Out
On some Sundays, it almost seems like we have a revolving door in the back of the church, and it is used by both children and adults. Use the
restroom before coming to church. You shouldn’t need to get a drink of water during the service (especially if you are taking Communion!). Come to
pray. Taking restless little ones out is a different matter. If a child is disruptive, take him/her quickly and quietly out of church, just long enough to
settle him/her down, then return to Liturgy. Follow the rules for entering late: not during readings, sermons, or Entrances.
Leaving Before Dismissal
Leaving church before the Dismissal, besides being rude, deprives us of a blessing. Worship has a beginning (“Blessed is the Kingdom…”) and
an end (“Let us depart in peace…”). To leave immediately after Communion is to treat church like a fast food restaurant where we come and go as
we please. We live in a fast-paced world where we seem to be hurrying from place to place. But in God’s presence, we need to make every attempt
to fight this pressure to move on to the next thing on the day’s agenda. We deprive ourselves of blessings by not being still and participating in God’
s holiness. Eat and run at McDonald’s, but stay in church and thank God for his precious gifts.
Lipstick
Have you ever looked at an icon in just the right light and seen the lip prints all over it? It’s disgusting, isn’t it? In fact, it’ is downright gross. Lipstick
may look fine on lips, but it looks horrible on icons, crosses, the Communion spoon and the priest’s or bishop’s hand. Icons have been ruined by
lipstick; and even though the cross can usually be cleaned after everyone venerates it, it just isn’t considerate to others to impose your lipstick on
them. What is the answer? If you insist on wearing lipstick to church, blot your lips well before venerating an icon, taking Communion, or kissing
the cross or the priest’s or bishop’s hand. Even better, wait until after church to put it on. After all, God is not impressed with how attractive you look
externally, your makeup or clothing, but how attractive you are internally, your adornment with good works and piety.
Venerating Icons
When you enter the church, it is traditional to venerate the icons. Usually there are icons at the entrance to the church and many churches have icon
stands in the front as well. When venerating (kissing) and icon, pay attention to where you kiss. It is not proper to kiss an icon in the face. You
would not go up and kiss the Lord or His mother on the lips, would you? You would kiss their hand, and only of they invited you would you even
dare to kiss them on the cheek. Pay attention to what you are doing. When you approach and icon to venerate it, kiss the gospel, scroll, or hand
cross in the hand of the person in the icon, or kiss the hand or foot of the person depicted. As you venerate and icon, show proper respect to the
person depicted in the icon, the same respect you would show the person by venerating him or her in an appropriate place. And remember, blot off
your lipstick before kissing.
Talking During Church
Isn’t it great to come to church and see friends and family members? But wait until after service to talk to them. It just is not appropriate to greet
people and have a conversation with them during the services. Besides being disrespectful towards God, it is rude towards the other people in the
church who are trying to worship. Talk to God while in church through your prayers, hymns, and thanksgiving, and to your friends in the hall
afterwards.
Kiss (Don’t Shake) the Priest’s or Bishop’s Hand
Did you know that the proper way to greet a priest or bishop is to ask his blessing and kiss his right hand? How do you do this? Approach the
priest or bishop with your right hand over your left hand and say “Father (or “Master” in the case of the bishop), bless.” [He will make the sign of the
cross, and place his right hand over yours.] This is much more appropriate (and traditional) than shaking their hands. After all, the priest and
bishop are not just “one of the boys,” they are the ones who "bless and sanctify" you and who offer the holy gifts on your behalf. When you kiss their
hands, you show respect for Christ, whom they represent. So next time you greet your priest or bishop, don’t shake his hand, ask for his blessing.
Sunday Dress
Remember the time when people put on their “Sunday best” to go to church? In fact, dress clothes were often referred to as Sunday clothes. In
some parts of the country, this is not common today. In fact, all too often, dress in church has become too casual. In all areas of our lives, we
should offer Christ our best. And the same is true of our dress. We should offer Christ our “Sunday best,” not our everyday or common wear. And
we should dress modestly, not in a flashy way that would bring attention to ourselves. Our dress should always be becoming of a Christian -
especially at church. Here are some specific guidelines we use in our parishes:
Children
Again, our Sunday best.
Women
Dresses should be modest. No tank tops or dresses with only straps at the shoulders, no short skirts (mini-skirts), and no skin-tight dresses.
Dresses should have backs and not be cut low in the front. According to St. Paul (I Corinthians 11) women are to cover their heads.
Men
Men should also dress modestly. While coat and tie are not mandatory, shirts should have collars and be buttoned; two or three buttons undone is
inappropriate. Slacks should be cleaned and pressed. Jeans (of any color) are usually too casual for church, especially ones with patches or
holes.
Again, shorts are not appropriate church wear. If you’re going somewhere after church where you need to dress casually, bring a change of clothing
with you and change after service. Remember, use your best judgment and good taste when dressing for church. After all, you don’t go to be seen
by
everyone else, you go to meet and worship God.
To Cross or Not To Cross
Anyone who has looked around on a Sunday morning will notice that different people cross themselves at different times (and sometimes in
different ways). To a certain extent, when to cross oneself is according to personal piety and not an issue of dogma. But there are times when it is
specifically proper to cross yourself, and times when you should not. Here is a brief list of when to cross and when not to cross:
Cross
When you hear one of the variations of the phrase, “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit”; at the beginning and end of the liturgical service or your private
prayers; entering or exiting the church, or when passing in front of the Holy Altar; before venerating in icon, the cross, or Gospel book.
Not to Cross
At the chalice before or after taking Communion (you might hit the chalice with your hand); when the priest or bishop blesses saying, “Peace be to
all," bow slightly and receive the blessing; when receiving a blessing from a bishop or a priest (kissing the right hand of the bishop or priest is
appropriate, but not making the sign of the cross).
Handling the Holy Bread
After taking Holy Communion and at the end of the liturgy, it is traditional to eat a piece of holy bread or antidoron, the bread that was left over after
Holy Communion was prepared. While antidoron is not Holy Communion, it is blessed bread and as such, should be eaten carefully so that
crumbs don’t fall all over the place. After taking Communion or kissing the cross at the end of the Divine Liturgy, take one piece of antidoron (you
don’t need four or five pieces) and when you return to your seat or get to a place where you can stop for a moment, eat the bread trying not to drop
crumbs. If you want to give a piece to someone else, go ahead and take an extra piece, don’t break yours in half (it produces too many crumbs).
And monitor your children as they take the antidoron and teach them to eat it respectfully.
A Final Thought
North American society in the late 20th century is rather casual in its approach to life. Don’t allow this prevailing attitude to enter into your Orthodox
Christian piety. There are surely a lot of other areas that could be covered here. Much of church etiquette is based on common sense and showing
respect for God and others. Always remember that you are in church to worship God, the Holy Trinity. The priest says, “With the fear of God and faith
and love, draw near.” Let this be the way you approach all of worship. If you do, you will probably have good church etiquette. AMEN.